You’re hangin’ with your man in his bitchin’ Camaro. Your hair is coiffed to gravity-defying perfection. (As is his.) Poison is cranked to eleven. And yet … something is missing.

Duh. Your jeans are way too loose.

Blank Jeans is here to fulfill your hair metal fantasies. The New York-based line is designed by Emmy Laurisden and Leigh Brown, the duo behind cult favorite Odyn, and the studded accents and playfully named washes are reminiscent of everything you used to see on MTV (when they actually played music videos).

The Ike & Tina pair is black and blue, Overdose is a vibrant turquoise overdye, and Grimey is a gray acid wash. Oh, and don’t miss the secret pocket linings that depict people in rocking sex positions.

All this for a mere $68.

If that doesn’t take you back to 1986, nothing will.